At the end of the day, all we have are choices. If we change nothing about ourselves, we will continue to make the same, tired old choices and thus the same kinds of mistakes.
benjaminrussack@gmail.com
(415) 497-1908
Teletherapy or in-person sessions available
My Approach
Hey folks! My name is Benjamin Russack. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist and I welcome you to my page!
At the outset of therapy, I tend to be fairly concrete. This involves putting out any “fires” raging in your life that require immediately attention. This may include—but is not necessarily limited to—problematic communication skills, creating and meeting long and short term goals, substance abuse issues, or alleviating symptoms related to depression and anxiety.
Of note, while I certainly make space for more fluid conversations, I am the type of therapist who will tell you in very plain language what I think. Personally, I believe that therapists who do little else but sit around and nod at their patients are wasting everyone’s time.
At any rate, once your fires are put out, we will delve into the roots of your issues. That is, where did all that fire come from in the first place? How have you been shaped as a person? This may involve examining childhood experiences, processing traumatic events, dream interpretation and various forms of creative expression such as writing and drawing. Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to engender growth and greater consciousness, thus empowering you to make better and healthier choices so that you can live a better, healthier life. I mean, isn’t that why we’re all here?
My Story
I was born and raised San Francisco. During my twenties, I obtained an MFA in creative writing and drifted around from job to job until I landed a gig as chess teacher, of all things. What struck me most was watching my young students grow as individuals rather than as competitive chess players. There was something about my special relationship with them that went beyond simply pushing pieces around a board. At thirty, I decided to pursue a master’s in counseling psychology. During this period, I found work in a substance abuse rehabilitation center. The intensity of this environment helped form my rather direct, no-nonsense style as a therapist. Beneath this approach, however, lies a love of archetypal psychology—a passion which I no doubt inherited from my father, who was a psychiatrist and a student of Carl Jung.
So that’s my story, such as it is. These days, my hobbies include writing, playing far too much online chess, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and spending my Saturday afternoons turning my kitchen into a fantastic mess.
Areas of Focus
Substance Abuse
Addiction is defined as engaging in a substance or process despite obvious negative effects on your life, relationships, career and more. Substances include drugs and alcohol while process addictions may involve gambling, shopping, sex, video games and similar activities. Should this definition resonate with you, or if you’re concerned that it might, our first priority will be to establish a plan to address these issues. We will start by identifying your triggers such as a difficult work environment, relationship issues, money concerns, and develop tools for coping with them. The next step will involve building a supportive, sober community and lifestyle and exploring any feelings of ambivalence you might have towards doing so. Longer term, we’ll examine the underlying causes—such as depression, anxiety, stress or trauma—that may have originally given rise to your struggles with addiction.
Depression
The downward spiral of depression is no joke: intense feelings of fatigue, apathy, worthlessness, decreased self-confidence, and sadness grow larger as we isolate ourselves, stop reaching out to loved ones and forgo engaging in our healthy daily habits such as exercise, hobbies, or simply getting outside. Mitigating these symptoms might involve reaching out to a friend or family members at least twice a day, building a support network and putting yourself on a healthy sleep schedule. Structured self-care, along with an improved diet and regular exercise, can also be beneficial. Also, studies show that creating and working towards achievable life goals and projects can help re-instill a sense of meaning and purpose. In the longer term, addressing the underlying causes of your depression—such as problematic family dynamics, life stressors, changes, and both past and present trauma—can be effective in alleviating depressive symptoms.
Anxiety
A friend of mine once described anxiety as the sensation of having popcorn continuously burst inside your chest, arms and legs. Anxiety can attach itself to anything: the routine doctor’s appointment that will no doubt uncover latent bone cancer, fear that your spouse will become furious at you for failing to immediately respond to a text, that “creepy” co-worker who simply asked if you wanted to join her for a lunch break, and worse yet, the impending doom of cleaning your apartment. Basic Cognitive Behavioral interventions are shown to be effective in fighting anxiety. These may include learning to combat black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking; identifying and challenging irrational or maladaptive thoughts and replacing them with more balanced and realistic ones; gradual and controlled exposure to feared situations or stimuli to reduce avoidance behavior and anxiety over time; and practices such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation to reduce physical tension and promote calmness. We will also examine any major life stressors, changes, or past traumas that may be contributing to these anxious feelings.
Life Transitions
Major life transitions are often overlooked as a cause for serious feelings of depression, anxiety and overall disorientation. Perhaps you just moved across the country, married, had children or went back to school. Whatever the reason, you find yourself in a fluid, hard-to-define state of transition. Gently exploring these strange and often difficult feelings, structuring your life and building community are just a few of the ways therapy can help you to navigate this challenging period.
Goal Setting
For those looking to set and achieve short- and long-term goals, I will help you whiteboard it all out, break things down into small, manageable steps, assign homework, and keep you accountable until you cross the finish line. Together, we will turn your aspirations into reality, step by step.
Families
I see families of all sizes—it’s a party! In family therapy, we will focus on improving communication styles and skills, boundary setting, and simply learning to hear one another out. Simply allowing everyone to air their thoughts and feelings in a fair, focused environment is often the simple medicine families need. We will also spend time looking at the family as a whole. For example, some families might designate a “black sheep” or scapegoat. This person often expresses the pain of the family. For example, a teen abusing substances during their parents’ divorce may be a backward attempt to seek affection in a fractured household. In other cases, the divorcing parties may throw the child back and forth like a proverbial football—”Go tell your mother what I said” or “Go tell your father he needs to get his act together.” This is called triangulation, where two parties use a third party to mitigate their own disagreements or issues. By focusing on improving the health of the family system as a whole, we can help short circuit larger maladaptive behaviors that have arisen between its members.
Teens
While my straightforward style is useful for many situations, I find that teens mostly just need a place to vent. Their lives are filled with growth, transitions and often so much confusion. Additionally, they face ever-increasing challenges as they come of age in a world of social media, intense political division, and economic inequality.Teens need a space where they can verbalize their thoughts and feelings to an adult outside of their immediate family system. Of course, I do involve the parents in this therapeutic process as when appropriate, considering factors such as the patient's age and the severity of the issues they are grappling with. The goal is to provide support and understanding while helping them navigate this complex stage of life.
Couples
In couples therapy, I focus heavily on basic communication skills to help partners conduct productive discussions and avoid conflicts that prove damaging to their relationship. We will work on techniques such as speaking in "I statements," paraphrasing, and employing curiosity instead of defensive behavior. Additionally, we will dedicate time to rediscovering and re-experiencing the love and appreciation that couples sometimes say has been lost or forgotten. By nurturing these aspects, we aim to strengthen bonds and foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
Archetypal Therapy
Archetypal therapy draws on Carl Jung's theories around shadow work, dream analysis and the collective unconscious. Towards this end, we will work to connect the conscious and unconscious mind, thereby helping us to achieve what Jungian philosopher Edward Edinger called an “expansion of personality.” Think of it this way: a child who stubs their toe suffers a great deal more than an adult who does the same. For the child, not only is the experience of pain rather new, but so too is the experience of life itself. That is, as we grow and develop, past difficulties often seem less severe, as they occupy less "space" in our psyche. On a grander scale, this analogy is reflective of the process of increasing one’s consciousness. Consider your younger self—how much would you have to say to that person? The “you” of today is simply more aware and more substantial than the you of yesterday. In simple terms, Archetypal therapy aims to accelerate this process, thereby bringing greater consciousness, stability and aptitude into your everyday life.